Phones and middle schoolers: our approach to devices

Three years ago we made our school day phone-free for every grade. Phones go into a locked pouch at morning advisory and come out at dismissal. Families were nervous. Teachers were cautiously hopeful. Students were not thrilled.

Today, nobody wants to go back. Lunchtime is louder, in the best way. Teachers report better focus in the afternoon. And students, when we ask them privately, say they are relieved.

Why we made the change

Middle school is a time of enormous social and emotional growth. Children are learning to read faces, repair friendships and tolerate boredom long enough to have an idea. A device that offers constant distraction and comparison works against all of that, especially in the hours we share.

We did not ban phones because we fear technology. We did it because we value attention.

Technology is still part of school. Middle schoolers use school laptops for research, writing and coding, and we teach digital citizenship explicitly in advisory, including how algorithms and group chats shape what we see and feel.

Questions to ask before a first smartphone

• What problem is the phone solving? Would a basic phone or watch for calls and texts do the job?
• Where will it live at night? Ours suggest a family charging spot outside bedrooms.
• Which apps, and when? Agree on social media timing before the phone arrives, not after.
• Who else is waiting? Coordinating with other families in the grade makes waiting far easier.
• What will you model? Children notice our own habits at dinner and in the car.

Waiting together

Many of our seventh-grade families have agreed together to delay smartphones until high school. It is easier to say not yet when your child is not the only one. Our parent association hosts an evening each fall to help families talk this through, with a counselor, a pediatrician from the community and a panel of high schoolers who are refreshingly honest about what they wish their parents had done.

There is no perfect answer, and every family will decide differently. What we can promise is that during the school day, your child will be fully present with their teachers and friends.